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Gluten-Free Alchy

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Let’s face it – a wedding wouldn’t be a wedding without the drunk guests that make it. Every wedding should have alcohol - am I wrong?! A selection of wine, fancy cocktails, or even beer on tap? Unfortunately, for those who have a gluten intolerance, sipping the wrong beverage could turn what was supposed to be a great, exciting, and tipsy celebration into an uncomfortable event.

One moment you’re feeling like Beyonce, the next, Rosie O’Donnell.

It’s unfortunate, but if you don’t have a gluten intolerance, let me explain to you how horrible eating even just one breadstick or throwing back a midori sour can be:

  • You might feel like you have a 10lb kettlebell lodged in your lower abdomen.
  • Sometimes it might feel like that kettlebell induces small pulses of electric shock or contractions resulting in abdominal pain or even diarrhea.
  • These symptoms can be exhausting and make someone feel very tired, disgusting, and unpleasant.

And these are only a FEW of the symptoms. 

If you are lucky enough, the bride and groom of the wedding you plan to attend will consider their gluten-free guests and offer alternatives so that everyone can get their buzz on without having to deny the booze. Maybe the B & G are both gluten tolerant, but hopefully someone close to them will suggest considering the angles of accommodating allergens.

Yes, this day is about the B & G, but it’s also about having fun; and if guests are spending the evening in the bathroom all night instead of the dance floor, what fun is that?! I attended my cousin's wedding this past Spring, and on her RSVP card we got to select which meal we would like - she included a gluten-free option!


It’s really a simple accommodation - The best part, you don’t have to sacrifice anything because they make gluten-free alcohol!! And it’ll get you just as buzzed as “glutenous” alchy (is that terminology even correct? Umm.)

Let’s have a look at some of the different types of booze you can get your gluten-free guests drunk with, shall we? Anything distilled from something without gluten is in the SAFE ZONE.

The hard stuff like rum, tequila, and potato vodka are gluten-free but you want to be aware any additives or special flavorings as they might contain gluten; oh, and make sure your tequila is 100% agave.

Maybe you enjoy wine. (Hah! Did I say “MAYBE you enjoy wine?” - who DOESN’T enjoy wine?) It’s made from you can’t go wrong there. Unless the wine you choose was made by introducing gluten into the fermentation, you should be just fine downing a glass or two.

Or three or four.

I'm not an alcoholic, promise.

Whiskey and Bourbon are typically in the clear. Just make sure you don’t drink any that aren’t specifically labeled gluten-free as there has been little controversy about whether or not gluten has been established in the distillation process.

Almost every alcohol will be labeled gluten-free that IS in fact gluten-free, so simply keep an eye out.

Maybe the most dangerous alcohol you can choose is BEER. Beer CRIES wheat and barley - STAY AWAY. Even though breweries are producing gluten-free beer these days, I would hold off from consuming the all classic favorite anyway, play it safe. Unless you know for a fact that it has been specifically brewed without gluten, I wouldn’t risk the un-beer-able bloat.

See what I did there? Eh? Ehhhh?

So ya see dear brides and grooms, we gluten-free wedding guests would totally appreciate you considering a gluten-free alchy menu, so that we too can be drunk and merry in all of your glorious newlywedness.


Thank you for your consideration.



What is your favorite gluten-free alcoholic beverage?
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Bill Bruce
Just give me all the alcohol.