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An Ode To The Spray Tan

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There once was a beautiful young woman named Snow, whose skin was... well, white as snow. She met her Prince Charming, his proposal was alarming, but never-the-less she said “Leggo!”


Now being a fiance, Snow wanted to look like Beyonce, and looked into tanning her skin. The pale white glow, she declared “had to go”, she wanted to be bronzed for her Prince.


Her Prince said “your natural beauty is unmatched” but ever still she was attached, to the idea of getting a tan. “But you’ll turn orange!” the Prince said, as they lay tired in their bed, and in Snow’s head a million thoughts ran.


The sun has never worked, for through the trees she lurked, as she lived most of her life in the woods. Tanning beds didn’t take, she asked the desk clerk “how fake, can a spray tan look, bad or good?”


The clerk said "They’re fine, we do them all the time, at least you’ll be tan like you want!" So Snow took the plunge, took the spray like a sponge, and walked out of there bronzed ready to flaunt.


Her wedding day arrived, and Snow absolutely thrived on the fact her glow was as flawless as Bey. She said her “I do”, hit a dance move or two, and soon came the end of her big day.


Now the end of the night, her feet put up a good fight, she managed to break out a sweat. All the guests and the dancing, she wasn’t aware of her chancing the one and only spray tan threat.


Her tan seemed to melt down into her gown turning her dress from white to orange; what a sight. So you see my new brides, set aside your stubborn pride, and realize that au natural can be oh so right.


Just be as you are, being yourself isn't bizarre, the real you is ever so bright. Plus when it’s time to remove the veil, you’ll return to being pale, and your dress will no longer be white.


Leave a comment...
I try to tell my sister to stop fake tanning cause this is what's going to happen someday hahaha
Danny Adler
This would make such a hilarious toast at a rehearsal dinner or something!
Lindsey M
Hahahaha I love it! So true!
Emily Wilder
I am so glad I found this! The same thing actually happened to my best friend at her wedding! Great read.
Ariel Dingman
This had me cracking up! Thank you for this!