This is a tough one. I still have yet to completely decided if this is OK or not in my book, so I'm just going to lay it all out. The question at hand is whether or not it is acceptable for a couple to request money, via fundraising sites like GoFundMe, to pay for their wedding, or is it unacceptable and tacky to ask for handouts to pay for your wedding? Some may say that it’s genius, others may say that it’s downright offensive. I’m willing to play the devil’s advocate and see from both sides of the fence.
Here is where this becomes a problem for some. The majority of people view these funding websites as means to raise money for charitable events and/or medical research to find cures and solutions. Generally speaking, more dire needs than an wedding. Organizations such as orphanages, scientific research studies, and non-profits are among few of these companies that have benefited from this new way of fundraising, and that makes me really effing happy.
I do see a lot of personal fundraisers out there to help with payments for hospital bills, life-threatening illnesses, widowers who are now single parents, etc. which is obviously just as good a reason to need help as any. But where is the line drawn? I have personally seen everything from the silly "fund my race car habit" to the absurd "help me buy a burrito". So when we hit an awkward middle ground between life or death circumstances and menial requests for things like burritos, it can get a bit sticky. This awkwardness I'm talking about comes into play when someone asks you to Go Fund their own wedding.
First off, this may be offensive for your guests if you are suggesting they contribute money to a wedding that they've been INVITED to. Secondly, this may be offensive to anyone who wasn't even invited to your wedding. I know I’d for sure flip your wedding the bird if you were asking money from me and I wasn’t even invited.
On the other hand, a couple might have a perfectly valid reason to ask for help for their wedding. Unexpected things happen all the time and I get that. What reasoning would deem this acceptable in my opinion?
The soon to be wed’s company shut down, he lost his job and she can’t afford to pay for the wedding anymore
There was an unexpected death in the family
They were robbed
I mean the circumstance that must occur in order for this to be okay is truly subjective to each individual and I'm aware that some people won't agree with me. Like I said, I don’t know exactly how I feel about this whole funding-site thing for a wedding and there are strong arguments on both sides.
I can however offer my advice and say that there are more appropriate and perhaps less-aggressive ways of requesting financial contribution. For example, in place of any wedding gifts, you could opt to receive donations from your attendees. You could also simply look into taking a few decimal points off of your wedding. Include more DIY decor where you can, look into recycled weddings (seriously, it's a thing), or shoot, even opt for donuts instead of an extravagant wedding cake (extra points because it's adorable).
My point is simple - most of the money spent on weddings is for things enjoyed by the guests attending. Personally, I'd rather not give you money than have you spent it on fancy things for myself. Does that even make sense?
When all else fails, just be clear on the wedding budget guides from the beginning. Plan the wedding you can afford and never assume that anyone else will help you pay for your wedding.