By Why might a young woman be having trouble finding “The One” - a man to marry her? The brutal and honest truths come out. We have asked various experienced women; some married, some single, and some “It’s Complicated”, and for now we’ve combined their answers to give you three simple and blatantly honest observations:
Number One: You’re Lying to Yourself
You want to get married, you’re ready; but every indication from the man you are currently giving your time to says that he isn't going to marry you or he simply is not ready for marriage. You can go on for years like this (believe me, I’ve actually BEEN this girl).
Instead of confronting him and talking to him about it (because you are afraid you will scare him off), you lie to yourself every day - waste time - and try and make yourself believe he will soon think of it on his own. And guess what? While you are wasting your time, he’s having fun.
The fact that you NEVER bring it up gives him no reason to think about it - he has no need to provide you with any commitment or dedication because he is doing just fine getting by without having the "deep conversation".
Think of this as a weeding process; once the discussion arises, you are going to see some true colors that will tell you if he is worth your time or not. You may be scared to discuss marriage with him, but how will you ever know if THIS is the man for you if you DON’T bring it up. If he isn’t even open to discussing it, RED FLAG. If he ignores you when you bring it up or changes the subject, possible RED FLAG. If he is not concerned with your wants for a permanent life with the man you love, RED FLAG.
A man who loves you will openly talk about these things with you and support you; even if he is not ready for marriage (because let’s face it, many men are afraid of the idea of “committing to one person for life”, but it does not mean that he CAN’T or WON’T). Regardless, if he IS the man for you, he should comfort you and assure you that he is getting there. This is where you need to listen to your instincts; you will know if he’s the one or if he’s just going to keep you waiting.
Number Two: You’re Ignorant & Shallow
When it comes to choosing a husband, one thing a woman should focus on is his character. The top of your “List of Traits” in a man should say CHARACTER. Unfortunately, many young women are NOT paying attention to this. If they were, they probably would have found their prince charming by now because generally men of character are willing and ready to commit.
It might be safe to say this generation of young women looking for “The One”, are looking in all the wrong places.
Society and media has manipulated the youthful mind to believe someone with a high ranked social status, a large Instagram following, a photoshopped body who frequents only the best parties and social events, and who knows more about what is going on with Kanye West's life than his own brothers life is more admired than a hardworking man of character, who loves and values family and his relationships, quality time spent with his loved one over parties with the guys, someone who may not have a photoshopped body or more than 500 followers on Instagram.
And the truth is, the women that overlook the latter are not really focused on being someone’s wife. These are not the traits a WIFE seeks, these are honestly the admirations and thoughts of a teenaged girl. Sure, a wife may find someone with a photoshopped body or huge following attractive, but a wife also knows these traits alone do not make a husband.
So ladies, don’t be ignorant; hubby worthy men do not want to marry a teenaged girl - to them that means drama, an empty plate, and an upside down home.
Number Three: You’re a Harlot
Ok, so being a promiscuous harlot has worked for you for this long because a lot of guys LOVE hoe's - for lack of a better word - and the OLD you loved that attention. (Keyword: Old) The fact is, all these men see you only as someone they can “get some” from, and if you continue this lifestyle, you'll never find the one who doesn't.
Of course, majority of humanity can probably say there was a point in their lives where casual sex was like a recreational drug, but the NEW you (Keyword: New) is trying to get married so it’s time to adjust the lifestyle and adventures of a young hoe in order to attract the RIGHT attention. Protect your goods, value them, and keep them on reserve for that someone you want to attract.
Believe me, you CAN attract the right man by keeping your goodies from all the wrong ones.
If you already have a man who is serious and committed to you, and you are still playing the field as the “bachelorette” you need to slap yourself. If you WANT TO GET MARRIED, your ULTIMATE GOAL is to get married, and you have a man that likes you enough to have something serious with you, stop sleeping around! You better recognize and turn in that “player's card” if you want him to put a ring on it.