Let’s talk about CLEAVAGE.
While most MEN think brides should show a little boob-crack, I have to wonder how many boobalicious women of our generation are siding with a bit of cleave-peek or how many are keeping it classy and covered up when choosing a wedding dress. Our personal opinion is the bustier you are the more you pay attention to how much jug you’re showing. Don't get us wrong, The Itty-Bitty-Titty-Committee needs to be aware as well, they just have an easier time making a “showy” gown look “not so showy” because their boobs aren’t on the loose.
We have seen some boobal - I mean bridal - nightmares where women have literally squashed their double-D-duds into their dress giving them no room to breathe.
This we call UN-DRESS-ESSARY - A form of dress that is unnecessary :)
What reason is there to punish your lovely lactoids this way, other than to gain some extra unwanted attention? Not to mention, you're setting yourself up for disaster. It's only a matter of time before a wardrobe malfunction, nipple slip or a full blown Janet Jackson Nipplegate comes into play. Be kind to your beautiful blossoms and give them a little room.
Other Busty-Boddesses actually find it appropriate to pretty much ONLY cover their nips and let the rest of the dairy pillows hang out. Ladies, let me remind you that your wedding day is sacred, and yes while you should have fun and feel beautiful and sexy, you should strive to be decent. We want to look like we’ve been poured into our gowns, not like we’re pouring out of them. Think of your great Uncle John when you bend down to kiss his forehead as he sits in his wheelchair; and even though it'd be entertaining, we don't want to give him a heart attack at your wedding. We’re aiming for tasteful ta-ta’s, not trashy tits.
CLARITY ON THE STRAPLESS
I feel like we should clarify that STRAPS are our friends; they help keep everything in place. On that note, though a strapless wedding gown is very popular, if you’re packin’ some serious fun bags, we recommend at the very least you stay away from the low cuts and invest in a very supportive strapless bra. It’s hard enough wearing a 30lb gown for 8 hours, but to have to hike it up every 10 seconds by the pits is not only going to annoy you to death, but it will look a little cheap and unflattering. Plus, you will regret it when your wedding photos come out showing two feet of boobage.
Where's the bride and groom? All I see is Bonnie & Clyde.
We want to FLATTER your Flesh Bulbs, so consider cut styles such as an “A-Line”, a “Drop Waist” or even a Corset style dress. While a corset can streamline your silhouette, an A-Line can hug your waist and and provide a bottom flare that will create balance and compliment your sensuous sweater stretchers.
Another helpful tip is to avoid a high neckline as it will actually make your girls look even bigger. Steer clear of halter-tops and detailed cleavage lines; we're trying to detract any negative or tacky attention away from the glorious jugs. While an embellished neckline can be exciting, its probably not the best choice in our attempt to re-route your guests eyes to your beautiful makeup, flawless hair, flowy train or gorgeous look overall. Try on some elegant and simple scoop necks and sweethearts as they are more obliging.
Lastly, keep one thing in mind...