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When Your Fiancé Becomes Your Brother

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Dear Expert,

My mother is a single mom who has raised me all by herself since I was 6 years old. She’s put up with me for 25 years, through all of my boy drama, and it wasn’t until I was a senior in high school that I realized how much my mom deserves to have a good man in her life. I started guiding her in different dating techniques, helping her with her wardrobe, and just boosting her confidence in general so that she feels ready to step back into the world of dating. I even set her up with a dating profile on a singles website. She has received a lot of responses on there and has gone on a few dates, but none of them really stuck. 

In the midst of all of her dating, my boyfriend Jason and I have just gotten engaged. He is also the product of a single parent home. His dad is a very supportive and rather charming man who clearly gave Jason some tips on asking me to marry him. He surprised me with a bed full of rose petals leading to a bubble bath accompanied by champagne, chocolate covered strawberries, and candles - and the best part, a little black box in the pocket of my bath robe. Of course, I said “yes”. The following day, we announced the engagement to our parents and the four of us went out for celebratory drinks and so our parents could get better acquainted. 

Recently, as my fiance and I plan our wedding more and more, I’ve noticed my mother being less proactive about dating men, or meeting some of the guys from the website. I asked her if she wanted me to set her up with my friend’s boss, but she declined. I tried to see if she wanted to go out one night to socialize, but she blew me off to go to some “book club” meeting that I had never heard of before. I started thinking that my engagement had discouraged her, or made her feel hopeless in finding HER special someone. 

I’ll get to the point. My fiance and I decided to drop by my mother’s house to see if she wanted to come with us to pick out cake flavors. As we pulled up to the house, I noticed a strange car in the driveway. My beau and I proceeded to enter her home and ended up walking in on something that is a little disturbing given recent events. My mom, and Jason’s dad, were holding each other locking lips! Apparently, they have been seeing one another for weeks, since our little rendezvous celebration. 

So, how awkward is this? I don’t know how to feel about it. Do I try to stop it? I definitely wasn’t planning on marrying my step brother, that’s what we would be right?! This could be really embarrassing for our wedding. What am I supposed to do?


Accidental Incest 

Dear Accidental Incest,

Eeep! This is an extremely #awkward situation, and personally, too much for me to handle on this gloomy Wednesday morning, but I will do my best. I’m pretty sure there was a movie where this happened, probably with Diane Keaton or something. So I’m going to put myself into her belted, high-waisted skirt and do what she would do. 

I get that your parents also deserve a happily ever after, but this is just downright obnoxious. There is no reason that your parents have to be sneaking around during one of the most special times of your beautiful young lives. If they just HAD to go ahead and start, whatever it is that they have going on, and couldn’t even give you and your future brother (sorry, you said it) a heads up, they deserve whatever reaction the two of you care to give them. 

If you want to be angry, go ahead and be angry. You want to be disgusted? Do it. Don’t want to give them the time of day? Flaunt that resting bitch face like you never have before. Do you get the picture? Unlike them, you are only planning on getting married once. Sorry to be harsh, but you asked. 


Planning a wedding is a stressful process. Personally, I don’t think it’s fair for your parents to be gallivanting around like their teenagers, especially when your other parents are out of the picture. Come on folks, you had one job - be there for your kids!

My point is this, your parents need to grow the hell up. Seriously. Unless you intend on having a five year engagement, they can wait to frolic amongst the flowers together. And if you’re worried about them getting married and your husband now technically being your step-brother, I say you call up MTV and make some money off of this circus of a family - it’s reality TV gold.

With Love,

The Wedding Expert
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